Graham Simpkins

— Sex makes everything complicated. Even when you don't have it, the not having it makes things complicated.
— Which is why it's usually better to have it.

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— How's it going?
— Great. I met a really nice guy.
— See? And you said you'd never. What's he like?
— He's really cute. I feel great when I'm with him, which is an entirely new experience. And he's about 90 years old.
— Come on.

— Sex is pretty basic, right? Am I pretty much talking you out of this?
— Strangely, not at all. How do you feel about foreplay?
— I think it's overrated. Significantly overrated.
— You are quickly becoming one of the most interesting girls I've ever met.

— I mean, you didn't exactly ask me out, but... you did say you loved me. So I'm thinking I've got a date. If you'll have me.
— I have the girls New Year's Eve.
— Sounds perfect.

From the moment I met you, it's been an adventure.

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The Holiday

Acquaintance

I have no defense, except that until I get to know someone really well, it's easier for me to be a normal, single guy. Because it's way too complicated to be who I really am. I'm a full-time dad. I'm a working parent. I'm a mother and a father. I'm a guy who reads parenting books and cookbooks before I go to sleep. I spend my weekends buying tutus. I'm learning to sew. I'm Mr. Napkin Head. I'm on some kind of constant overload and it helps to compartmentalize my life. Just till I figure this out.