Airplane!

We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered, there's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight... By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

— Captain, how soon can you land?
— I can't tell.
— You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
— No. I mean I'm just not sure.
— Well, can't you take a guess?
— Well, not for another two hours.
— You can't take a guess for another two hours?

— Cream?
— No, thank you, I take it black, like my men.