— Hi, Princess!
— It talks!
— Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.

— Face it, Donkey! We're lost.
— We can't be lost. We followed the King's instructions exactly. "Head to the darkest part of the woods... Past the sinister trees with scary-looking branches."

— It's hideous!
— Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.

— So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?
— Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
— I was talking about the dragon, Shrek.

— Wait. Where are you going? The exit's over there.
— Well, I have to save my ass.

— What's your problem? What you got against the whole world?
— I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go: «Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly ogre!» They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.

— Donkey, keep watch.
— Keep watch? Yeah, I'll keep watch. I'll watch that wicked witch come and whammy a world of hurt up your backside.

— When did you decide this?
— Shortly after arriving.