He endures blistering winds and scorching desert! He climbs to the highest bloody room of the tallest bloody tower... And what does he find? Some gender-confused wolf telling him that his princess is already married!

— Face it, Donkey! We're lost.
— We can't be lost. We followed the King's instructions exactly. "Head to the darkest part of the woods... Past the sinister trees with scary-looking branches."

— I got to go to the bathroom.
— Dinner is served!
— Never mind. I can hold it.

— Shrek?
— For you, baby, I could be.
— Yeah, you wish.

— Donkey, keep watch.
— Keep watch? Yeah, I'll keep watch. I'll watch that wicked witch come and whammy a world of hurt up your backside.

— When did you decide this?
— Shortly after arriving.