Douglas Quaid

— I just had a terrible thought. What if this is a dream?
— Well, then kiss me quick before you wake up.

— Honey... You wouldn't hurt me, would you, sweetheart? Sweetheart, be reasonable. After all, we're married.
— Consider that a divorce.

— You wouldn't shoot me, would you, Doug? After all we've been through.
— Some of it was fun.