Shrek

— Hi, Princess!
— It talks!
— Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.

— It's hideous!
— Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.

— So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?
— Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.
— I was talking about the dragon, Shrek.

— Wait. Where are you going? The exit's over there.
— Well, I have to save my ass.

— What's your problem? What you got against the whole world?
— I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go: «Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly ogre!» They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.

— M-m-m. This is good. This is really good. What is this?
— Uh, weed rat. Rotisserie style.
— No kidding. Well, this is delicious.
— Well, they're also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean weed rat stew.
— I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night.
— Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare — you name it.
— I'd like that.

— Donkey, two things, okay? Shut... up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs.
— Stairs? I thought we was looking for the princess.
— The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower.
— What makes you think she'll be there?
— I read it in a book once.
— Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way they're going. I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the kerb. Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master.

— And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?
— I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed.

Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty
in the moonlight
overthrew you
She tied you
To a kitchen chair
She broke your throne,
she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah.

Hallelujah, Hallelujah,
Hallelujah, Hallelujah.

All right. Nobody move. I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it. I'm a donkey on the edge!