— What is that?
— It's a tyre level.
— Why?
— Cos there were loads a smackheads in there and one of them might need help with a tyre.

— He's clueing.
— What?
— He's clueing for looks.

— No, you can't come, you're pregnant.
— You can't go, I'm pregnant!

— John, there's something I should say, I've meant to say always and I never have. Since it's unlikely we'll ever meet again, I might as well say it now. Sherlock is actually a girl's name.
— It's not.
— It was worth a try.

Bit mean springing it on you like that, I know. Could have given you a heart attack, probably still will. But in my defence, it was very funny... OK, it's not a great defence.

— I'll see you tonight.
— What's tonight?
— I'll text instructions.
— Yeah, I'll text you if I'm available.
— You are, I checked.

Knowing is owning.

— An agent gave his life to tell us that.
— Oh well, perhaps he shouldn't have done. He was obviously just trying to show off.

— Just put me back in London. I need to get to know the place again, breathe it. Feel every quiver of its beating heart... And what about John Watson?
— John?
— Have you seen him?
— Oh, yes, we meet every Friday for fish and chips.

— I just can't believe it! Him sitting in his chair again. Oh, isn't it wonderful, Mr Holmes?
— I can barely contain myself.
— Oh, he really can, you know.

Anybody who wears a hat as stupid as this isn't in the habit of hanging around other people, is he?