— Is this your laptop?
— Upon which depends the security of the free world, yes, and you've got potatoes on it!

— Hey, what happened to my chair?
— It was blocking my view to the kitchen.
— Well, it's good to be missed!
— You were gone, I saw an opportunity.
— No, you saw the kitchen.

— Sherlock, she loves you.
— Yes. Like I said, human error.

Some members of your little fun club. Do be polite. They're entirely trustworthy and even willing to search through the toxic waste dump that you are pleased to call a flat.

— Do you think it's right that a newspaper proprietor, a private individual, and in fact a foreign national, should have such regular access to our Prime Minister?
— I don't think it's wrong that a private individual should accept an invitation. However, you have my sincere apologies for being foreign.