Scrubs [Season 3, Episode 4]

You can't make me feel guilty for asking for help. That's just the way the world works. Most people actually like helping out the people around them.

— Quick, first place we made love?
— Give me a break. We've never «made love».

It's a riddle. Two guys destroyed your bike with a crowbar and a bat. One of 'em wasn't me.

I'm fairly sure if they took porn off the Internet, there'd only be one website left called Bring Back The Porn.

I'd make you swear on a Bible, but holy stuff makes your skin sizzle.

I'm gonna write you a prescription for two testicles. Get this filled out whenever you want.

Elliot, I'm crazy about you, but I've been going over this in my head all week. I've been in a long-distance relationship before. It was a disaster. I believe a couple has a better chance if they just cut the cord and know that if it's meant to be, fate will bring them back together.