Scrubs [Season 2, Episode 8]

But sometimes the thing you didn't expect is what you really wanted after all.

I usually don't like thinking about the future. Let's face it, you can't predict what's gonna happen. But sometimes the thing you didn't expect is what you really wanted after all. Maybe the best thing to do is stop trying to figure out where you're going and enjoy where you're at.

— I don't use toilet paper. I have one of those French things that shoots water up your butt.
— Bidet?
— Bidet to you, sir.

Jordan, this is my girlfriend, Julie. OK, that was a treat, wasn't it? Would you like me to call you a cab, or have the flying monkeys bring the broom around?

This is the reason why your headache didn't go away. That's actually pronounced analgesic, not «anal»-gesic. Sir, the pills go in your mouth.

— Good God. Someone vomited on my hotdog.
— It's chilli, Dad, OK? And you know what? I appreciate everything you've given me, but it's my life. Now stop complaining and enjoy your damn meal.