A Nero Wolfe Mystery Quotes

You know, my mother once told me "Never go someplace where you're not welcome."

— You might be wired for sound, and there's only one way to find out, and I'm not sure you'd enjoy it.
— How do you know I wouldn't?

— You're an incredible man. Utterly incredible. I didn't think you could do it. Incredible! Is there anything you can't do?
— Uh, yes, madam, there is. I couldn't put sense in a fool's brain.

— I thought you were afraid of nobody and nothing.
— I can dodge folly without backing into fear.

Then this is a remarkable coincidence. In a world that operates largely at random coincidences are to be expected but each one of them must always be mistrusted.

— During the seven months that you lived with Miss Usher did she have any callers?
— She never had any.
— Do you mean to say that she had no friends... men or women?
— I never saw any. She never even had a date; she never even got any phone calls. I used to tell her, "Faith, that's no way to live just crawling around like a worm like that."

Archie... I said it is vainglorious to reproach yourself for lack of omniscience. The same is true for omnipotence.

— But you were an agent of the Austrian government?
— As a boy. I quit.
— And then you joined the Montenegrin army?
— Still a boy, immature. I believed then that all misguided people should be shot. I shot some.

— There's no discipline in this country, Mr. Wolfe.
— I wouldn't say that. We submit to traffic cops and sanitary codes. We are extremely fond of certain liberties.

It's a scientific fact that girls are more beautiful spiritual, more fascinating after they've had a baby...

Nothing is as pitiable as a man afraid of a woman.

Had I remained lean, I would be dead by now. Like you, I was once idiotically romantic. But was cured me; war pickles men in a bride of disgust and dread.