Can you imagine waking up every day with some random asshole like Mr Good Morning here trying to hack you up with a fucking machete? Seriously. This might have been fun for a while. Once the shock wore off, once I realised what the hell was happening, after nearly 140 times, it just fucking got annoying and I want it to stop. But I know it won't. You know how people say, "Oh, I can do that with my eyes closed," and you always think they sound like assholes? But... whatever. As many times as I've seen this happen to my apartment, I still can't help but think, "Fuck! Man, this is a lease." The landlord is already an asshole anyway and I'm never, ever getting my security deposit back.