Gwen, first dates are interviews.

I've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life-and-death matter, because you'll die a lot of times.

— Excuse me. Where can I find Van Wilder?
— In the Guinness Book of World-fucking-Records, man, under "Raddest fucking dude alive."

Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.