The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

— Commander, the President is the kidnapper!
— You're going to kill him!

— So, this is how it's all going to end, is it, ey? Me, alone on a dead planet, with a manically depressed robot.
— You think you've got problems. What are you supposed to do, if you are a manically depressed robot?

— The only thing to do is say hang the sense of it and keep yourself busy. I'd much rather be happy than right any day.
— And are you?
— No. Well, that's where it all falls down, of course.

The answer to the ultimate question... of life, the universe and everything... is... 42.

I'm feeling very depressed.

,600 —> 01:30:00,250
All my life, I've had this strange feeling

1228
01:30:00,350 —> 01:30:03,350
that there's something big and
sinister going on in the world.

Go with the hunch of a man whose brain is fuelled by lemons?! This is suicide!

— Greetings. This is a recorded announcement as we are all out at the moment. The Commercial Council of Magrathea thanks you for your esteemed visit, but regrets that the entire planet
is temporarily closed. If you would like to leave your name and a planet where you can be contacted, kindly do so at the tone.
— How can a planet be closed?
— Zarkin' A, cousin. Okay, computer, keep going. Take us down.
— I'd be happy to.
— It is most gratifying that your enthusiasm for our planet continues unabated. As a token of our appreciation, we hope you will enjoy the two thermo-nuclear missiles we've just sent
to converge with your craft. To ensure on-going quality of service, your death may be monitored for training purposes. Thank you.
— Guys, I'm delighted to tell you that there are two thermo-nuclear missiles heading right for us.

— O' great Deep Thought! We have travelled long... and far. Have you calculated the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything?
— No. I've been watching TV. I designed another computer to do that.
— Oh, right, I forgot. Is it here?
— No, it's not here. It's another world.
— It's on another world?
— It is another world, stupid. Or at least it was until the Vogons destroyed it to make way for a hyperspace expressway.
— Well... Okay. You sure you don't have the question, or a way to, you know, access it or something? 'Cause I think I've done like a lot to get here.
— Oh, shh, shush! The show's back on.

Fine, take it, 'cause my head is filled with questions, and, I can assure you, no answer to any one of them has ever brought me one iota of happiness. Except for one. The one. The only question I've ever wanted an answer to. Is she the one? The answer bloody well isn't 42, it's yes. Undoubtedly, unequivocally, unabashedly, yes. And for one week, one week in my sad little
blip of an existence... it made me happy.

— We, well, we can put it back exactly as it was when you left, you know. Unless there's... there's, you know, anything you want to change. Something you think your planet could do without.
— Yeah. Me.