The Beautician and the Beast

— An enchanted princess.
— You're not a dwarf.
— Come away, fair maiden. We shall be married at once.
— Married? One kiss, and suddenly I'm engaged? I wasn't even awake to enjoy it. Be gone! And watch where you walk. The bunnies eat a lot of fruit.
— You'll be my princess.
— Like that line of work's such a bargain. Affairs, bulimia, divorce. I read People. Here. Unhand me. I'm too young to get married.
— Aha! A sense of humor. I like that in my chattel.
— No. I've got goals. I've got dreams. I've got ambition.

— The president insisted you be paid for the remainder of your tenure.
— You know what? You can tell him to take that money and... Wait a minute, what am I saying? He's rich, and I'm fired.

Katrina Pochenko: — I think that if their narrow-minded families had not kept them apart, they would have experienced the long life of true love.
Joy Miller: — I know, kids. Why don't we show your father how all do a fire drill?
Boris Pochenko: — No, no, no. This is interesting. You see, I believe the tragedy in the story was because the children took matters into their own hands.
Joy Miller: — See, class, this is good. We're have a dialogue. We're debating.
<...>
Katrina Pochenko: — It was the parents' fault. They were just so cut off and dead inside. They felt they had to trample everyone else's dreams just so that they could prove they were still alive.

— What's that?
— That's the chicken.
— It's alive.
— Of course it's alive. You wanted fresh, no?
— Not that fresh.

— Give them what they want.
— Please?
— Overtime. Unions. I have a decree of my own. Already signed? Joy Miller swears that a happy worker works harder. Interesting thought. Make some banners — "Happy Workers Work Harder."

— You are a woman of the Western world. Sophisticated. Promiscuous.
— Hey!

— Listen, if I get this job, I guarantee you, honey, that you will never frizz, you'll never kink up. And on Fridays, I will give you a set so stiff, you won't have to touch it till Monday.
— Just keep it simple.
— Sure, sure. Less is more. That's my motto.

— I don't think it looks right.
— You got to move the mole. Class, the mole always goes over the left lip. This way, it balances the cigarette, see? Otherwise, if it's all on the same side, you look like you're going to fall over.

'Confident' is a good word. 'Unstoppable' is a good word. 'Unbelievably blessed' are great words. Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Speak happiness and peace with everyone you meet.
— Excuse me.
— Get away. This is pepper spray.

— Well, just for curiosity's sake, how'd it work with your last teacher?
— We read aloud from our text books.
— What'd she do?
— She watched. Sometimes she slept.
— And she still got paid?
— Of course.
— If it ain't broken...

— Mr. President, it wasn't my idea to go to a disco. I really wanted to go to the reggae club down the street.
— Reggae club? Address, please?
— It's one of those clubs that move from place to place. It's not for you.

— Svetlana, I want you to meet the President.
— How do you do?... I killed a cow right over there. Nice meeting you. Carry on.
— Yeah, well, you'll get better at it...