Prozac Nation

When someone asks Mike Campbell how he went bankrupt... all he can say is, "Gradually, then suddenly." That' how depression hits. You wake up one morning afraid that you're going to live.

— Most people, they cut themselves, they put a Band-Aid on, keep going.
— And what do you do?
— I just keep bleeding.

I wanna explain to Noah how exhausted I am. Even in my dreams. How I wake up tired. How I'm being drowned by some kind of black wave. But I can't write. And he really doesn't wanna
know about it anyway.

It' lovely that he' caring... compassionate and politically correct. But I need him to kiss me.

— I'm just really fucked up. I'm like a defective model... and you don't know that until you've been around me a while. You know, some days I wake up, and I just feel so flat-out, just fucked... that I'll do anything to feel different.
— Lizzie, when we're together, you're fine. You're fun. You're...
— I'm faking it.
— Well, everybody does that.
— Not like me.

If only my life could be more like the movies. I want an angel to swoop down like he does to Jimmy Stewart... in It's a Wonderful Life and talk me out of suicide. I've always waited for that one moment of truth to set me free... and change my life forever. But he won't come. It doesn't happen that way. All the drugs, all the therapy... the fights, anger, guilt, Rafe, suicidal thoughts. All of that was part of some slow recovery process. The same way I went down, I came back up... gradually, and then suddenly.

— You had any drugs in the last 24 hours?
— No. Well, I guess I snorted some coke and smoked some pot... but that was just to make the Ecstasy last longer.
— Sure you're not forgetting anything?
— Maybe a few beers.
— Did you ever think you might have a substance-abuse problem?
— The only substance problem I have is I need you to give me some tranqs... so I can come down off this fucking coke.