— I used to think that I had never been dumped.
— Yeah, then we started comparing notes. Then we realized we've both been dumped by every man we've ever been with.
— Every one.
— Yeah.
— But they do it so skillfully. They just so sneaky that you think it was your idea!
— Yeah. You're sitting back and you're like: "Oh, yeah. This my idea. But wait a second, why am I alone?"
— "Why am I unhappy? Why have I gained 20 pounds?" They Jedi mind-trick you. Yes, they do. So they do a soft pass.
— Yeah. They got little lines they like to tell you.
— Like, "I don't wanna stand in your way."
— Or, "You're perfect, it's just I have to work on myself."
— Right. "I'm just thinking of your happiness."
— "Oh, I don't deserve you." That's my favorite one.
— You know the other one I like? "I am so jealous of the guy who gets to marry you." Well, that could have been you. That's what I was leaning towards.
— Yeah. And the second you hear that... run to the store, get yourself some ribs and some ice cream... because you have been dumped!
