— All right. You want me to tell you why you couldn't handle it?
— Unless you'd like me to jump off the fucking roof.
— She's gay.
— No kidding.
— And you are a macho, homophobic...
— Homophobic?
— Yes, and gay, male or female, scares the living hell out of you.
— Right.
— Where are you going?
— To jump off the fucking roof.
— I should be so lucky.

— What can I do for you?
— I'll take a ham on rye.
— This is a barber shop, not a delicatessen.
— Oh. Well, then, why don't you give me a haircut?