quoted Characters /

Saul Goodman

22 quotes

— You're out on the town. Yeah, you're partying hearty. You're knocking boots with the chicky babes. Oh, who's this? It's the tax man. And he's looking at you. Now, what does he see? He sees a young fellow with a big fancy house... unlimited cash supply and no job. Now, what is the conclusion the tax man makes?
— I'm a drug dealer.
— Wrong. Million times worse. You're a tax cheat.

- You're out on the town. Yeah, you're partying hearty. You're knocking boots with the chicky babes. Oh, who's this? It's the tax man. And he's looking at you. Now, what does he see? He sees a young fellow with a big fancy house... unlimited cash supply and no job. Now, what is the conclusion the tax man makes?
- I'm a drug dealer.
- Wrong. Million times worse. You're a tax cheat.

- You're out on the town. Yeah, you're partying hearty. You're knocking boots with the chicky babes. Oh, who's this? It's the tax man. And he's looking at you. Now, what does he see? He sees a young fellow with a big fancy house... unlimited cash supply and no job. Now, what is the conclusion the tax man makes?
- I'm a drug dealer.
- Wrong. Million times worse. You're a tax cheat.

If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once convinced a woman that I was Kevin Costner. And it worked because I believed it.

If you're committed enough, you can make any story work. I once convinced a woman that I was Kevin Costner. And it worked because I believed it.

Let's just say I know a guy who knows a guy, who knows another guy.

Let's just say I know a guy who knows a guy, who knows another guy.

Christ. You two. All I can say is if I ever get anal polyps, I'll know what to name them.

Christ. You two. All I can say is if I ever get anal polyps, I'll know what to name them.

— What did you tell them?
— I told them they were a couple of dicks.
— He's a wordsmith.

- What did you tell them?
- I told them they were a couple of dicks.
- He's a wordsmith.

- What did you tell them?
- I told them they were a couple of dicks.
- He's a wordsmith.

Conscience gets expensive, doesn't it?

Conscience gets expensive, doesn't it?

Conscience gets expensive, doesn't it?

Francesca, we got any bags? For money. Money-sized bags.

Would you put in a good word\Nfor me with Fring? I mean, just for old time's sake. I can't afford to butter the wrong bread here.

$Would you put in a good word\Nfor me with Fring? I mean, just for old time's sake. I can't afford to butter the wrong bread here.$

$Would you put in a good word\Nfor me with Fring? I mean, just for old time's sake. I can't afford to butter the wrong bread here.$

Believe me, there's no honor among thieves. Except for us, of course.

Believe me, there's no honor among thieves. Except for us, of course.

He said he was gonna break my legs. And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay? 'Cause he gave me the dead mackerel eyes. He meant it.

He said he was gonna break my legs. And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay? 'Cause he gave me the dead mackerel eyes. He meant it.

Sarcastic Quotes

— Go. Get to it before the feds do.
— And do what exactly? I mean, what... The thing... The thing is the size of a... It's RV size. I mean, where do I go to make an RV disappear? I'm not David Copperfield!

- Go. Get to it before the feds do.
- And do what exactly? I mean, what... The thing... The thing is the size of a... It's RV size. I mean, where do I go to make an RV disappear? I'm not David Copperfield!

- Go. Get to it before the feds do.
- And do what exactly? I mean, what... The thing... The thing is the size of a... It's RV size. I mean, where do I go to make an RV disappear? I'm not David Copperfield!

— Oh, God. How did everything get so screwed up?
— Yeah, you do have a little shit creek action happening. You know, FYI, you can buy a paddle.

- Oh, God. How did everything get so screwed up?
- Yeah, you do have a little shit creek action happening. You know, FYI, you can buy a paddle.

- Oh, God. How did everything get so screwed up?
- Yeah, you do have a little shit creek action happening. You know, FYI, you can buy a paddle.

Okay, but say, you know, just for the sake of argument, the kid's not in the mood for a nuanced discussion of the virtues of child poisoning. You know, his plans are running more towards stabbing you to death with a pointed stick. In that scenario, then what? You have a suggestion?

Okay, but say, you know, just for the sake of argument, the kid's not in the mood for a nuanced discussion of the virtues of child poisoning. You know, his plans are running more towards stabbing you to death with a pointed stick. In that scenario, then what? You have a suggestion?

Sarcastic Quotes

Walt never told me how lucky he was — prior to recent unfortunate events. Clearly, his taste in women is the same as his taste in lawyers — only the very best with just the right amount of dirty.

Walt never told me how lucky he was - prior to recent unfortunate events. Clearly, his taste in women is the same as his taste in lawyers - only the very best with just the right amount of dirty.

Walt never told me how lucky he was - prior to recent unfortunate events. Clearly, his taste in women is the same as his taste in lawyers - only the very best with just the right amount of dirty.

Sarcastic Quotes

— You act like you're the first guy this ever happened to. I caught my second wife screwing my stepdad, okay? It's a cruel world, Walt. Grow up.
— I just wanted to talk to him.
— Yeah, well, now I'm talking to you. Consider this an intervention. You could have been arrested back there. You understand. I mean, speaking as your lawyer, I'm always looking for billable hours, but speaking as your business associate, I'm strongly advising that you get your shit together.

- You act like you're the first guy this ever happened to. I caught my second wife screwing my stepdad, okay? It's a cruel world, Walt. Grow up.
- I just wanted to talk to him.
- Yeah, well, now I'm talking to you. Consider this an intervention. You could have been arrested back there. You understand. I mean, speaking as your lawyer, I'm always looking for billable hours, but speaking as your business associate, I'm strongly advising that you get your shit together.

- You act like you're the first guy this ever happened to. I caught my second wife screwing my stepdad, okay? It's a cruel world, Walt. Grow up.
- I just wanted to talk to him.
- Yeah, well, now I'm talking to you. Consider this an intervention. You could have been arrested back there. You understand. I mean, speaking as your lawyer, I'm always looking for billable hours, but speaking as your business associate, I'm strongly advising that you get your shit together.

Cheating, Treason

Sarcastic Quotes

The wicked run when no one is chasing him

Better Call Saul