Penelope «Penny» Lockhart

— You're a really nice person.
— You are an awful judge of character.

I went to this therapist who told me that I had problems being alone. But then, I mean, she wanted to see me five times a week, so you tell me who had the real problem.

— Nothing happened!
— Since when is snuggling nothing?

— I wish I'd met you a long time ago. When we were kids.
— It couldn't have happened any other way. It had to happen now.
— But it isn't enough time.
— It never would have been.

I mean, it's always better to sleep on the fire escape than have pity sex, I always say.

— And no more days spent picking out what you're gonna wear for nights that don't mean anything. No more wondering whether you're with the right person, or if this is the guy that you're meant to have kids with. <...>
— Maybe you just haven't met the right guy.

— Oh, man, I don't feel good. Is that the weed kicking in?
— What does it feel like?
— Feels like I'm falling off a cliff with a bomb strapped to my chest.
— Well, that could be anything.