Mark Watney

Dear Martinez, Mars is fine. I accidentally blew up the hab... But unfortunately, all of commander Lewis' disco music still survived.

— See, the thing is, I'm selfish. I want all the memorials back home to be about me. Just me.
— I should have left this guy on Mars.

This is space. It does not cooperate.

Good news, I may have a solution to my heating problem. Bad news, it involves me digging up the radioisotope thermoelectric generator. Now, if I remember my training correctly, one of the lessons was titled... "Don't dig up the big box of plutonium, mark." I get it. Rtgs are good for spacecraft, but if they rupture around humans... No more humans.

So I got to figure out a way to grow three years' worth of food here. On a planet where nothing grows. Luckily... I'm a botanist. Mars will come to fear my botany powers.

But consider this. I'd get to fly around like iron man. Commander... Let's go iron man.

Everywhere I go, I'm the first. It's a strange feeling. Step outside the rover... First guy to be there. Climb that hill, first guy to do that. Four and a half billion years... Nobody here. And now, me. I'm the first person to be alone on an entire planet.

Mark Watney, space pirate.

Yeah, I get to go faster than any man in the history of space travel... Because you are launching me in a convertible.

I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this.

I would love to solve this problem right now but unfortunately... My balls are frozen.