John Spartan

John Spartan: — Oh, God. This is fantastic. You guys gotta try one.
Lenina Huxley: — Just don't ask where the meat comes from.
John Spartan: — Huxley, what's that supposed to mean?
Lenina Huxley: — Do you see any cows around here, detective?
John Spartan: — Que es este carne?
Saleswoman: — Este carne es de rata!
John Spartan: — Rat? This is a rat burger? Not bad. As a matter of fact, it's the best burger I've had in years.

John Spartan: — Look, if you guys know it but you're... you're out of toilet paper.
Alfredo Garcia: — Did you say "toilet paper"?
Lenina Huxley: — They used handfuls of wadded paper back in the 20th.
John Spartan: — I'm happy that you're happy, but the place where you're supposed to have the toilet paper you've got this little shelf with three seashells on it.
Erwin: — He doesn't know how to use the three seashells. I can see how that'd be confusing.
<...>
Computer: — "You're fined two credits for violation of the verbal-morality statute"
John Spartan: — Thanks a lot you shit-brained, fuck-faced, ball-breaking, duck-fucking... pain in the ass.
Computer: — "You're fined five credits for repeated violations of the verbal-morality statute"
John Spartan: — So much for the seashells. See you in a few minutes.

— Anyway, where the hell did you learn to kick like that?
— Jackie Chan movies.

— So, what's with Cocteau guy anyway? He says I saved his life, which I'm not even sure I did. And my reward is dinner and dancing at Pizza Hut? I mean, hey, I like a big, fat piece of pizza, but come on....
— Your tone is quasi-facetious, but... you do not realise, that Pizza Hut was the only restaurant to survive the Franchise Wars.
— So?
— So, now all restaurants are Pizza Hut.
— No way.

— How can you justify destroying a $7 million mini mall... to rescue a girl whose ransom is only $25,000?
— Fuck you, lady.
— Good answer.

You're gonna regret this the rest of your life. Both seconds of it.

— Not bad for a 74-year-old. Simon Phoenix knows he has some competition. He's finally matched his meat. You really licked his ass.
— That's "met his match"... and "kicked his ass".
— "Met his match and kicked his ass."

— Let's go blow this guy.
— Away. Blow this guy away.

— I think I'll like the future.
— Now that you've demolished everything.

— I've been an enthusiast of your escapades for quite some time now. I have, in fact, perused some visuals from the Schwarzenegger Library. That time you took that car...
— Hold it. «The Schwarzenegger Library»?
— Yes, the Schwarzenegger Presidential Library.
— Wasn't he an actor, when you?...
— Stop! He was President?

— Vir-sex produces high alpha waves during transference of sexual energies.
— Let's do it the old-fashioned way.
— Disgusting! You mean… fluid transfer?

— That man has died by my hands.
— It was either him or us, Huxley.

Chief George Earle: — What'll we do? How will we live?
Edgar Friendly: — I'll tell you what we're gonna do. We'll go out drinking, all of us, get shit-faced and paint the town, literally. Put up graffiti, slogans, it'll be a blast.
John Spartan: — Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm gonna tell you what you're gonna do. Why don't you get a little dirty... you, a lot clean. And somewhere in the middle....