Jane Nichols

— Oh, honey, it must be so hard to watch your younger sister get married before you.
— Yes. Yes, it is. But then I remember that I still get to have hot hate sex with random strangers... and I feel so much better.

— I mean, how much time do you spend doing this for other people? What about you? You don't have any needs?
— No, I don't. I'm Jesus.