Captain James T. "Jim" West

— Mr. West. How nice of you to join us tonight and add color to these monochromatic proceedings.
— Well, when a fella comes back from the dead I find that an occasion to stand up, be counted.
— Miss East informs me that you're expectin' to see General McGrath here. Well, I knew him years ago but I haven't seen him in a coon's age.
— We'll, I can see where it'd be difficult for a man of your stature to keep in touch with even half the people you know.
— Perhaps Miss East will keep you from being a slave to your disappointment.
— Well you know beautiful women, they encourage you one minute, then cut the legs out from under you the next.