— You know, if Morgana doesn't kill you, I will.
— Threatening your king is treason, Merlin.
— How about threatening an ass?
— Heard that!

You're hopeless at a lot of things, Merlin, most things in fact, but occasionally, quite by accident, you say something useful.

— Well, this is nice, isn't it? Just the two of us?
— Well, three of us.
— Merlin? Merlin doesn't count.

— Next time we might not be so lucky.
— I love your optimism.

— Merlin, I've always known you were stupid, but not that stupid.
— No, really, I'm that stupid. And if you don't believe me, watch.

— Camelot is fortunate to have a king such as you.
— It's I that's fortunate. Camelot would be nothing were it not for the courage and loyalty of its friends.

— What actually happened?
— The usual. I saved your neck.
— You saved me?
— Yes. And I can juggle. I keep telling you I have many talents.

— Then you must be Courage.
— No, I'm Prince Arthur of Camelot.

— If only we had a horse.
— Or a pig.
— You can't ride a pig.
— No, but we can roast it... with carrots, parsnip and apples.
— Merlin...
— No, you're right. We won't waste those apples. We'll put them in a pie.
— Stop it.