Scrubs [Season 8, Episode 8]

Cherish the pain, Ted! It means you're still alive.

Oh sure, I'm a lawyer, but that's only because I took the Bar exam in Alaska, and they only have like four laws and most of them are about when you can and cannot kill... seals.

— Look, Ted. You're obviously upset about the ukulele girl. So, we've called a truce to help you out.
— I'm not upset.
— Ted, we found you in a park, throwing rocks at old couples.
— Why should they be happy?

— I finally got a brother!
— Kid's either a genius or an idiot.

— Okay, Ted. I think we found a way to get you over your fear of talking to this girl.
— Kill me? Cause I'd be willing to try that.