Scrubs [Season 1, Episode 10]

— From now on, your name is Scooter.
— I don't get it.
— Short for scooter pie. I hate scooter pies.

Sometimes the only way to take a good look at yourself is through someone else's eyes. If you're lucky, you'll like what you see. Or you'll learn from it. If you don't like what you see, you have to hope you haven't burned too many bridges.

Sarcasm works better when it's shorter.

Preaching to the choir. Think of what little patience I have as your virginity. You always thought it would be there until that night when you were feeling down, and your pal, Kevin, who just wanted to be friends, he dropped by and he brought a copy of 'About Last Night' and a four-pack of Bartles & Jaymes. And... It was gone for ever. Just like my patience is now.