Terry Pratchett

I don’t see what’s so terrific about creating people as people and then gettin’ upset ‘cos they act like people.

Mort was already aware that love made you feel hot and cold and cruel and weak, but he hadn't realized that it could make you stupid.

Most of the members of the convent were old-fashioned Satanists, like their parents and grandparents before them. They'd been brought up to it and weren't, when you got right down to it, particularly evil. Human beings mostly aren't. They just get carried away by new ideas, like dressing up in jackboots and shooting people, or dressing up in white sheets and lynching people, or dressing up in15tie-dye jeans andplaying guitars at people. Offer people a new creed with a costume and their hearts and minds will follow.

She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in the way a forest fire was beautiful: something to be admired from a distance, not up close.

I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are good people and bad people. You're wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.

Aziraphale. The Enemy, of course. But an enemy for six thousand years now, which made him a sort of friend.

No world. Just endless Heaven or, depending who won, endless Hell. Crowley didn’t know which was worse.

Ninety percent of most magic merely consists of knowing one extra fact.

It has been said that civilization is twenty-four hours and two meals away from barbarism.