Gabrielle Solis

— Gaby, these pictures have to be wholesome. They gotta say 'these people will do a great job raising a child.
— So?
— So, you're topless.
— Yeah, but it's St. Barts and your hands are covering my naughty parts.
— Do you mean the hand that's holding the tequila shot, or the one that's holding the Cuban cigar?

Good friends offer to help in a crisis, great friends don't take no for an answer.

— Why are all rich men jerks?
— Same reason all beautiful women are bitches.

— The sex was amazing. It was like... oh... an opera!
— You feel asleep during it?

And the oscar goes to... Not you!