Charles Herman

Nothing's ever for sure, John. That's the only sure thing I do know.

— My first grade teacher said I was born with two helpings of brain... but only half a helping of heart.
— Wow! She sounds lovely!
— The truth is that I... I don't like people much. And they don't much like me.

— Well, I met a girl.
— No! A human girl?
— Homo sapien.
— A biped?

— You have no respect for cognitive reverie, you know?
— Yes. But pizza... Now, pizza I have enormous respect for. And, of course, beer.
— I have respect for beer. I have respect for beer!