Chandler Jarrell

Get that booger off your jacket before it freezes and you scratch yourself.

Wait a second, you took 100! No, one dollar is for you. See George Washington? That's Benjamin Franklin, that's not happening.

— And keep your thought as pure as the water.
— The water isn't pure.
— Neither are you!

Did somebody give you a Valium, or what?

Hey, hey, hey! In my pocket, there's a whole thing of Tic Tacs. Take as many as you like. Please.

— You speak English just fine.
— So do you, so what of it?

— Yak loin.
— What is it?
— Yak loin. Good to keep the yang up.
— Nothing wrong with my yang.

— Did you see a little naked man with a $100 bill?
— I have arranged for yaks, ponies and boats.
— You didn't see a naked bum with $100?
— No, but I can arrange for one.

— We'll be there soon.
— You'd better have a spatula. My ass is frozen to this yak.

Did you ever think about going into show business? I could be your partner, I'd throw a rock at you, and you'd make it float off and hit the wall. Standing ovations. Do they have Ed McMahon's Star Search in Tibet? Probably not. They probably have Food Search.