Haunted

An officer of the law has to die for pretty much everybody.
You die for people who kick dogs.
Drug addicts. Communists. Lutherans.
You die to protect and serve rich kids with trust funds.
Child molesters. Pornographers. Prostitutes.
If that next bullet has your name on it.

“You know, I used to think the only thing worse than losing at love was winning. . .” She says, “I used to be so in love with Scout, ever since school, but you know how events. . . disappoint us.”

“Americans do drugs,” says Agent Tattletale, “because they don’t do leisure very well.” Instead, they do Percodans, Vicodins, OxyContin.

If we ignore our need to hurt and get hurt, if we deny that need and let it pile up, that’s when we get wars. Serial killers. School shootings. “You’re saying we have wars,” Saint Gut-Free says, “because we have a low threshold for boredom?” And the Missing Link says, “We have wars because we deny that low threshold.”

Agent Tattletale, he says, “Americans are the world’s best at doing their work.” And studying and competition. But we suck when it comes time to relax. There’s no profit. No trophy. Nothing at the Olympic Games goes to the Most Laid-Back Athlete. No product endorsements for the World’s Laziest anything. His camera eye on auto-focus, he says, “We’re great at winning and losing.” And nose grindstoning, but not accepting. Not shoulder shrugging and tolerance. “Instead,” he tells himself, “we have marijuana and television. Beer and Valium.” And health insurance. To refill, as needed.

In ancient Rome, Sister Vigilante says, at the Colosseum, the “editor” was the man who organized the bloody games at the heart of keeping people peaceful and united. That’s where the word “editor” really comes from. Today, our editor plans the menu of murder, rape, arson, and assault on the front page of the day’s newspaper.

Working the tip of the knife blade under another nail, she says, What’s important is, the crime rate went down.